What do you do when you have nothing left to wish for?
I have a roof over my head (two actually, in different countries), enough yummy food to fill my belly ten times over, a never-ending tap of water in my kitchen and an almost-never ending tap of beer in my local pub. I have family to love and to be loved by. I am happy with my work, enjoy the intellectual problems that it brings, get satisfaction from the interpersonal challenges it presents me. I feel cherished as a friend and respected as a colleague. If I want I can travel the world (and do so with some regularity).And still…
Something is missing.
What do you desire when you have everything? What do you strife for when there is nothing left to strife for?
Sure, I could attain more. More money, more time, more friends. More…
But in the end, does it make a difference?
One of the most striking accidental insights I’ve gotten through this blog was when I wrote “I’m always happy, never content.” This one line struck a chord, stayed with me and has helped me understand myself in ways I never did before I wrote it. It still helps me to gain further insight in myself; it was the discontentment itself that made me happy. The idea that there was always more. Not to have, but to do. To experience, to feel, to give.
That feeling seems to be gone.
I’m well aware that I haven’t experienced, felt, given everything there is. But it does feel as though what is still out there is just “more of the same”.
This is a feeling. Intellectually I know that the chance of that actually being the case is minimal. It’s more probable that I simply don’t know what’s out there. Or perhaps won’t allow myself to think about it; though I love adventure, it still scares me to death as well.
I have security, safety. It encapsulates me, keeps me warm and safe. But perhaps in a way it also restricts, keeps me captive?
Am I willing to give up (some of) that safety? Would I trade it for the chance at a new source of discontentment? What would I give up for happiness?
I can’t answer these questions right now. But I have a feeling that I may be able to some time in the not too distant future…
I’m Bastiaan. I write this blog to give you some insight into the things I run into and perhaps to inspire you to go in search of your own life extraordinaire.
I love to connect, so if you have thoughts, ideas or questions based on this (or another) post, please leave me a comment!