Aug 102012

A bit over a week now I’ve been working at my assignment. The work is interesting (and challenging), the people are friendly, I’m enjoying myself.

Coffee. It seems all cute now, but just you wait!

There is however one thing that stumps me.


No, I haven’t started drinking coffee (even though getting used to waking up early is proving to be quite difficult and some people have suggested the vile black drink as a remedy. I’ll pass for now). But I don’t mind if others do.

So invariably, when I go for my cup (mug) of tea, I ask the other people present whether they want something as well. It was something that was institutional at my previous work and I enjoyed it. A small thing to do for another, with the additional benefit of making a tiny bit of small talk as you bring back the cup of coffee / tea / water / soup.

The answer here almost always is: “No, thanks.”.

Which brought about two things.

First, of course it is perfectly ok for people to not want a drink. It’s nice to step away from your computer for a few moments to walk to the coffee machine yourself. I can understand people want to get their own cup. But no matter how much I think that, it still feels feels like a personal rejection. Silly but true.

Second, how long to continue with something that “doesn’t work”? Should I stop asking people and just get my own drink? On the one hand I believe it’s good to adapt to the local customs; “when in Rome, do as the Romans.” On the other hand, I like getting drinks for people (as mentioned above). On the third hand (can someone lend me hand please?), I might just be too stubborn to change my ways. “I’ve been doing it like this for over a week now, so I’ll be damned if I change my ways!”

Now, a few people have actually started to say yes and to even include me when they go for a drink. Maybe just keep it up for a little bit longer…?

  5 Responses to “Coffee, rejection and stubbornness”

  1. Overthinking it much? Maybe people just don’t feel like another drink. Doesn’t hurt to ask, so just keep on asking. Doesn’t matter whether they say yes or no, it’s the asking that matters…

    • I always over think things, you know me… But thanks for the reminder, it would be nice to do that just a tad less…

  2. Yeah, I do agree with OJ. You are definitely over thinking it. I really like the thought that you are asking them because I would surely love to say yes to you.

  3. Agreed, just keep asking. A friend of mine told me yesterday that in her new job within six weeks she has 5 out of 7 collegues switched from coffee to (green/herbal) tea… changing the world one drink at a time 🙂

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