May 302012
 

La Paloma, Uruguay.

More than a month ago my bag was stolen. That included my laptop. Which contained the six chapters of my book that I had finished (ok, so the last one wasn’t completely finished. Nitpicker!). Four I uploaded to have some people look at, two are irretrievably lost with the computer.

Motivation to start writing again has not been high ever since.

But lately it’s been itching. Thoughts keep popping into my head. My characters are speaking to me, asking to tell more what happens with them.

So I again downloaded the first four chapters that that are not lost to my replacement laptop (thanks mom and dad for that!)

Time to re-read my chapters to get back into the story. Remember exactly where I left off. Get the inspiration flowing. Dive back into the game.

But…

My policy had been, write first, edit later. Meaning that there are a lot of things in the chapters I already wrote that I knew at that time or somewhat later that I wanted to change. Sometimes a single sentence that didn’t flow as nicely as I wanted. Sometimes an inconsistency I introduced. Sometimes an entire part which was just weakly written.

And now I have to read all that again!

Which scares me to death!

I still remember the gist of the story. Still can (vaguely) remember all the characters I introduced. Still sortof know the plot lines I was creating.

But the actual words? No clue!

What if it’s completely incomprehensible. Or boring. Or unbelievable. What if what I wrote really sucks?

To be faced with my own inadequacy? I guess that is the greatest fear of any human being?

So, time to scrape up my courage again, and plunge in.

If you don’t hear from me within a few days, I died of shame… ;-)

  One Response to “To be continued…”

  1. There is always this feeling of shame when reading your own writing, specially after a while, trust me I’ve had that feeling many times. And you’ll always wish to change more and more. Don’t let that fear block you, because YES the only thing that can block you is your own fear (own experience) Write for you and only for you ;)

    Btw, how you doing?

    Virna

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