I always said that I never wanted to fully grow up. For some things however I wished that I wasn’t stuck at being 16…
There she is. The girl. There have been a few glances back and forth. A smile that lingered just slightly longer than might be expected between two people who have nothing more in common than that they happen to be in the same place at the same time. Perhaps an accidental touch where it wasn’t strictly necessary. You know what I mean.
So, time to walk up to her, have a chat. I’ll dazzle her with some witty remark, an interesting story. We’ll have a deep, meaningful conversation as we both forget the world around us, drinking in each others eyes. We’ll feel connected in a way that no two people have ever felt connected before. We will court, get together, have a relationship, grow old and tell our grandchildren the wonderful tale of how exactly all of this happened.
In reality I stand there, mouth dry, nailed to the ground. What if she doesn’t like me? What if I get rejected? What will everybody here think? Oh, the horror, the agony! Better just stay here, nice and safe…
Why do I care so much? Usually I have no problem with making an ape out of myself. I’m happy to sing a made-up song in front of 50 people, to tell the boss that what he’s doing is silly, to order something in a restaurant that I can’t pronounce, let alone know of what it is. Yet when it comes to letting someone know I like them…
So, my most important resolution for 2012 is:
Face my fears!
And I’ll generalize that a bit:
- Face my fear of heights: This year I am going sky-diving (that is the second-scariest thing I can think of. I’m saving bungee-jumping for 2013)
- Face my fear of doing things differently (yes, even more than I already do): Earn money without “working” for another day (my own consulting company, write a book, give workshops, expand my blogging, whatever more I dream up)
- Face my fear of rejection: Let people know how I really feel about them (and yes, beautiful women are people too!)
Next to this I have a few resolutions of lesser importance:
- Do physical exercise at least twice per week, for at least an hour at a time (traveling is making me lazy! And perhaps some of those beautiful women can help me get a bit of a workout? 😉 )
- Improve my posture (walking the catwalk really made me realize how much I slouch. I’ve been trying to improve this, but it needs more work)
- Learn to improvise in a structured manner on the saxophone (this will obviously have to wait ’till I get back home, but good things come to those who wait (better things come to those who go out there and get it, though))
So, if you see me standing bent over, lazing about, or hanging in the corner of a club, wistfully looking at some girl: Give me a good kick in the butt! I will thank you for it!